Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
