oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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