Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
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