Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
