You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
If I die, sorry about rent.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
