never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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