This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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