why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
