so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
