the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
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