She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
