Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
