Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
