Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
