i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize