one might say we're banned from that church
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
