Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She's JV to your varsity
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
