things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
