I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
