Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize
