Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
