how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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