he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
