Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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