By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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