I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
