Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
