There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
