Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i can't believe i had my finger in that
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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