Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
how does that bad decision feel?
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
