DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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