I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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