i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
i dont even know how to be here
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
