Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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