Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I am mentally ready for anal.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
