i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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