i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
