In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
