The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
there is glitter all over my balls
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