Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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