READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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