Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
