he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
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