So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
