Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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