it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Randomize