Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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