It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Please don't give away my fajitas
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
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