Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
