Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
God I need to hump something, right now.
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