Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
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