remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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