Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
