you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
