Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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