the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
