Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
