Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Fuck appropriateness.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
