You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
