just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
