Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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