Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
