sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
