I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
