You smell like stripper and shame
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
