Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
